The Darkest Evil

I hate the idea that people make resolutions that they have no intention of keeping only when the earth’s odometre rolls over. It seems that it is enough to make people believe that they have a new lease on life. Personally, I believe the route of change should happen throughout the new year, especially when one realizes it is needed the most. However, I have reviewed what I want out of life and this is what I have come up with:

1. Gain a bit more notoriety on the web/in my new home - I would like to be as big as Bryan Veloso, Mr. Fab or Shaun Inman. My weblog has been getting a bit more activity since I have been writing more often and using traffic services like BlogMad, but that is not enough. I need to do more to get my name out there. I would also like to be recognized in Calgary for my blog so I am also going to write replying to more local news.
2. Finish up Blackthorne - Blackthorne (for the uninitiated) is a themeset that I have been working on for the past month. I am confident that I can get it done and coded before February 14th, especially since I cannot afford the bus pass for this month so my mobility is going to be dramatically hindered. Doesn’t mean that I can’t go to crowfoot and cash in my bottles to buy bus fare to get to the college to return some books. I should probably do that on Wednesday though, it will save time and money in the long run.
3. Get into a serious relationship - I would like to get into a serious relationship. Need I say more?
4. Fully convert to Buddhism - I would like to convert to Buddhism and seek a path of reason and truth. Right now, I could still be considered a Christian that just doesn’t go to church. I would like to be so much more than that and I would love to convert to Buddhism so I can clean my mind of my past practises and strive toward a brighter future.
5. Get my work permit - Nicholi, if you are reading this, please submit your company to Alberta Registries. Now.

Those are my five new years resolutions. This is what is truly important to me right now and I would personally like to thank you for reading through my sappy drivel but hey, it was enough to spice up my life.

Basically, I am in a whirlwind of relational bullshit and I guess I should try to cut the cords here and now. I am done with online dating and trying to find someone altogether. I hate all the immature people that think that they are all that and everyone should bend down and kiss their ass. I am sick and tired of the abusers and the mercenaries. I guess looking for love online is like looking for a diamond in your ass. It’s dark, hard to navigate and something just doesn’t smell right.

And, it’s not like I am in that stable of a situation either. I am still waiting for Nicholi to submit those papers to Alberta Registries so I can send in my application for a work permit. I thank god that I found Nicholi when I did, because she gave me the ticket I need to immigrate to this country. I now need to get everything rolling so I can immigrate to this country. And it looks like my life is becoming a bit more stable.

I am going to get rid of my current IM identities and get new ones. And I should probably get rid of my MySpace too. I am also tired of trying to reconnect with my past. My past sucked. I know this and yet I want to try to talk to people from my high school. Why am I stressing myself over people who won’t respond to private messages or whatever the hell they call them over at MySpace.

Damn, I got shot down again. Oh well, she was nice enough to tell me up front rather than to lead me on and make me think there was something more like one person recently did. No I am not bitter about that. Okay, I still am. But what if I still am? I have a right to be, after what Miranda did to me. But I try not to focus on it. I would much rather find someone that truly loves and cares about me than to focus on a hater.

Speaking on that route, it doesn’t appear that my attempts at finding someone are going well. Every time that I try to find someone, they usually already have a boyfriend or are not dating anyone right now. That could easily translate to they don’t want to date me. Ever. I just wish I could find someone that loves and accepts me for everything I am. Essentially, I want to marry my best friend. I want to date my best friend.

I am not sure I should continue actively looking for love at this point. Maybe if I sit back for a little while, it just might come to me. At least, that’s what I am hoping for.

Okay, so the day of the DOA meeting, I walk into Words and Pictures and lo and behold - my Green Green DVDs came in. The problem? I ordered them 2 months ago from Words and Pictures and I got them when I got back from Fall Ministry Experience from Amazon.ca. In fact, he made me pay for them with my store credit from those Dungeons and Dragons guidebooks that I returned. WTF?!? So, these DVDs are going back to Amazon.ca since Rob won’t allow me to get a refund at his store. Yeah, from now on I am going to use Amazon.ca to purchase all my anime stuff because Words and Pictures sucks. (Miranda directed me toward this store, so what should I expect?)

Also, I finally moved my site over to MediaTemple. Yeah, I know - I should have done it sooner. I started the process to give Barry my web space so I hope he can forgive the latency of this. Just in case you don’t know, I will fill you in on all the details. Barry runs an Azumanga Daioh fan site called Sata Andagi and a less important site called ThoughtDump.net. Now, normally, I would just give this away to someone through some sort of contest but this guy is on 1&1 web hosting so he kinda got my sympathies on this. (fyi: 1&1 is evil)

When I went to my Post Office box downtown, I found out that I forgot my P.O. Box keys. So I had to get the nice Post Office woman to get my mail for me. Appearantly, my Bleach Original Sound Tracks came in. ^_^ But unfortunately, I had to pay customs fees on one of the CDs, just because it was not correctly classified. It wasn’t too bad though, only about $6.00 or something like that. I wonder what I will have to pay when my books come in from Alibris or my NWN2 Limited Edition DVD comes in from GAME in the UK.

So, after that ordeal, I trudged to Meagan and Matt’s place to watch CSI. So, this entails taking the C-Train from downtown to Brentwood and taking a #20 Northmount bus to the shopping centre that encompasses Safeway, CIBC, Shell, a 7-Eleven, a PetroCanada and a few other places. The trudge up to Meagan and Matt’s house from the bus was fierce as they lived several blocks away, completely barred from the bus. The weather was brutally cold and the streets were completely dark (local time: 7pm). When I finally make it to their house, I am greeted with the promise of Lasagna and about 1 hour of CSI.

Today, I leave my warm, comfortable bed for the cold Calgary weather that doesn’t appear to be getting any better and make my way to ABC to talk with Mr. Pringle. Appearantly, I am to blame because my roommate is a liar and my landlords were douche bags. I don’t understand why this is and I am not quite sure why it is that everyone at that college wishes to bully me. It feels at times that I am helpless in my struggle. It feels as if that the faculty (Mr. Pringle and Mr. Frasier) will not stop their assault against me. I am growing terribly tired of this and I wish that I could just escape…