The Darkest Evil

Sorry Mr. Fab, but I had to make a derivation on what you had written about what you should remember on your first day at your new job. Whenever I get a new job or go to another college or to an university, there are a couple of other things that I should remember when I finally go to another college. And considering that I am still waiting for word on my job application at Moo.com, I need to remind myself a couple of things when I get my new job.

• No swearing. - My swearing is not usually tolerated but it’s going to be even worse if I go to a more respectful country like the United Kingdom.
• Tell NO ONE about my blog. - I know that when people google my name, this comes up first - but I shouldn’t actively advertise my blog other than for a portfolio piece. Come to think of it, it shouldn’t even be a portfolio piece.
• Keep my plans about the violent overthrow of the government to myself. - Yeah and it might be best not for the Home Office to know.
• Don’t talk to other employees using funny accents. - No one likes that.
• Don’t refer to customers as hordes of godless motherfuckers. - This is not Jack in the Box nor Valero and I will not be a Customer Service Rep. I will have a REAL job that pays a living wage.
• Try to remember not to flirt with every female coworker that catches my ire. - MiranA da was a bitch and it was not my fault that I didn’t take the time to vet her and find out how big of a bitch she was. I pity her next boyfriend (or her current boyfriend/partner in crime - Dusten). While she made every concious choice to be a complete bitch, I still feel that it was my fault that I did not vet her first. If I did, I could have found a couple of other blog posts about her. I just hope that other people try to Google her and find my many posts about her.
• Don’t steal food - At Jack in the Box, I did this all too often. This rep followed me to Valero and I got accused for stealing a mass amount of food. I will be making a REAL wage. And a real wage is important considering that I need the money. Not only to pay rent and the utilities but to feed my technology/anime addictions.
• Don’t hand out nicknames to other employees like “Pus Face”, “The know-it-all asshole” or “Emits an old man odor”. - There was this whore at Jack in the Box and she was a sleep around. I am not going to name names, considering that she was a nice person at work (well, until she decided to quit smoking, but she did her best, given the circumstances). There were many people at Valero I didn’t like either. However, if I am going to be at a real job with a real wage, I have to act a little more like a young professional.
• Don’t bring in my collection of anime figurines to decorate my workspace. - Yeaaah. I’d bet HR would have a field day if they say that Asuka Langley figurine I have sitting atop an Apple Cinema Display (wishful thinking).
• If anyone asks what my hobbies are, don’t say hentai and badmouthing assholes on my blog.
• Try not to let on how much I hate the human race. - It doesn’t mean I hate YOU. It means I hate the human race and all of it’s faults. People generally get pissed off the second I mention this.

Above all else: Do not be myself. It’s going to be a big adjustment after being a self employed web design and development contractor since April of 2006. But I need this job because a stable income is something that I really want. After all, it’s hard to budget when you have no set income that you can make nor work authorization in the country that you live in. I hope I can pull it off.

Tags: General

This entry was posted on Thursday, January 25th, 2007 at 8:05 am and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.