The Darkest Evil

Often I wonder what the purpose of my own blog is. I rant all the time and on numerous and sometimes, unrelated subjects. I get all mushy about someone and rant about them the next day. I basically share my feelings in a disorganized and incomprehensible manner. Basically, I believe that my blog has three equally important purposes.

The first purpose to my blog is to share my own thoughts, fears, loves, hates and experiences with the world. I have some acquaintances back in the states and I am certain that they probably want to know how I am doing and what not. This blog allows them the opportunity to read up on me and check up on my current state of being. Plus, it also allows other people that are going through what I am going/have gone through to know that they aren’t alone in their fight and struggle. They should know this and they should feel like someone has been where they are now.

The second purpose is to expose the flaws of this world in hopes of changing it for the better. Usually, when people are confronted with their own wrongdoings, they usually have the choice of fight or flight. Ron Frasier and Duncan Pringle have the reaction of flight when confronted with their actions. Instead of owning up to their misdeeds, they decide to remove me in hopes of hiding the problem once again. However, their idea will fail as I have decided to expose their actions numerous times on my blog. Eventually, when prospective employers or students google their names, they will hopefully find my blog and be reconfronted with their problems. They can either own up to their actions and take the road of recovery (a.k.a. the fight option) or they can keep running from the truth in hopes that they will never be confronted and seen for what they truly are (a.k.a. the flight option).

The situation at Alberta Bible College started when I decided to try to be friends (and possibly more than friends) with a girl named Miranda Littel. She was everything to me and I felt invincible when I was around her. I felt that she was the right one for me. Then, when I least expected it, the roof caved in and I found out her true nature. I found that she was an emotional mercenary. She only wanted to be around me to harm me and break me. So, I decided to write about it in my blog to expose her and hopefully have her confront her own problem as she read it. However, the administrators of the school decided to ask me to remove her name from my blog. I would not give in because I will not be cowled into forsaking my beliefs. Then, they wanted to label me as nuts and send me to a psychiatrist. WTF?

Eventually, they decided that my compliance was not helping their case to try to appear to justly remove me from ABC. They decided only a few days ago to disable my ability to renew for next semester. So, instead of being unable to face their problem and allow me to continue enjoying my right to Freedom of Speech, as it is defined as “freedom of thought, belief, opinion and expression, including freedom of the press and other media of communication” in the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms, they wanted to ignore their problem and remove me from the college.

The third purpose is to give people a view into my life at the core. Basically, I am very emotional, confused and angry/sad at this point. I have no family that loves me and I am facing failure straight in the eyes. However, I know I must not run, because where would I run to? I have no real home. Home constitutes people to come home to. Home constitutes a mixture of good and bad feelings and experiences. What I left behind in the states wasn’t a home but rather a stop in my mission to find my home. I know I must continue to go forth and find my home, hope and family. And the only way I can find the third is via marriage. Maybe that’s why I am a little girl-crazy at this point. But I have my morals and ethics when dating and I know that I can’t marry someone just for my immigration or status in this country.

This entry was posted on Sunday, December 17th, 2006 at 1:25 am and is filed under Family, Immigration, Keeping the Faith, Noteworthy, Rants, That Other Life. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.