The Darkest Evil

I just got an en masse e-mail from the Dedicated Otaku Anime President as soon as I woke up today. Appearantly, there are problems with a few of the male members of the club harassing other members. In addition, this may very well spread to the club’s annual anime festival, Otafest. While I know that logically, my actions were not the ones that spurred this e-mail, I can’t help but think maybe my desire to find the person I am destined to be with is overriding my motives and intentions. And then I thought that I am probably not the only person with this problem. There are many otaku males out there that cannot seem to get a date and I happen to be one of them. So I looked at my previous actions and applied common sense and what I have for you is this article.

I will use a particular anime as an example of certain situations and to bring a bit more gravity to my points throughout the course of this post. There is this anime called “Green Green” and if you have not watched it yet, you definitely should. The previous link will take you to Amazon.ca but I have links that will take you to Amazon.com and Amazon.co.uk if you just happen to be located outside of Canada. (Remember that using those links helps sponsour the activities of this site - if you still want to watch it but can’t afford it, here is a torrent for Green Green.)

Finding a girlfriend through inaction

Based on the principles that I state below, inaction is very likely the best course of action. While it is very important to introduce yourself to everyone at an anime club or whatever and to be social, it’s completely another to become the creepy member that hits on all the girls. This becomes a huge problem and turns many of the female members off. Furthermore, they may stop coming to the club all together and this may hurt the organization that sponsors these activities. Therefore, any agressive action to find someone here is very likely to have you removed from the club and very possibly have legal action taken against you.

However, through inaction - you can meet some really cool friends and find the person that YOU really want to meet and, in addition, she will see you for who you truly are and not just some creepy stalker. Here’s an example: When Yuuske and his “friends” around, making total asses of themselves and hitting on every girl at Kanenone Academy, Yuuske did nothing and had two girls who fell in love with him at the end. One because of an odd twist in destiny and even then, it did not work out. And the other, because she saw Yuuske for the kind human being that he is and how he is different from the other guys at Kanenone.

Looks are not everything

Looks are not everything in this world and they can fade pretty quickly. So, when you have a chance to go out with someone, be 100% sure that you are going out with the person that they are instead of the person they look to be on the outside. Because in 30 or 40 years, you will be much, much happier. And remember to look inward and seriously evaluate whether or not it would be a wise thing to pursue a relationship with the person that you are interested in, even from her side. Because if it isn’t and she finds that out while there is still a relationship, you will both be hurt in the process and that is not good.

Be Respectful

Treat others as you would want to be treated and yes, this is very important, especially in the world of dating. Women were NOT put on this earth to date YOU. Be very mindful of the fact that you will be judged on how you act toward her and how you act toward others in her eyes. Therefore, it is very very wise to be 100% respectful to her, your friends, her friends, people you haven’t met yet and yourself. An inability to show respect is a major problem and will only serve to create more and more problems down the road.

When being rejected, remember to be respectful. How you react can dictate how well other people see you in the near future and this person’s impression of who you are. Don’t ask too many questions, but you may want to know why it is that it would not be wise to pursue a relationship with this person. You can phrase it like “Well, I am sorry that you feel that way and I hope that you find what you are looking for in life. But, just so I can get some closure, can you tell me why you have decided that you do not want to go out with me?” If she decides to answer you, that’s wonderful and now you can move on. But if she doesn’t answer you, don’t demand an answer from her. It is never fun to reject someone and this person took a lot of guts to do so.

And if the answer just happens to be “We don’t know each other well enough” or something along the lines of that, don’t try to tell her your life story or anything like that. Just get out of that conversation and take some time to compose yourself, if you need it. Wait about a week or two and consider inviting her to group outings with friends and what not. As long as it is in a group and it is safe, she will not sense any threat and she will get to know you a bit better in the process.

And if you get reject and continue to see this person, DON’T ask her out again. Not for another year at least. You should allow her to make the next move. This way, she can hold more control and feel more comfortable when making that decision. This is very healthy and will help her to build a strong, agape relationship with you. And this is what you want. You want to build a mutually respectful agape relationship.

This does not mean to completely agree with everyone says or be a yes man either. You are your own person and you are entitled to your opinions, just like everyone at the club. And you may respectfully debate them with others. But keep in mind to bow out of the argument gracefully if it becomes an issue where they feel bad for holding their beliefs or what not. Don’t attack their beliefs and their preferences because these took years to make and these are positive things, usually. These things are what make us up. You, me and everyone around you have their own personal beliefs. You may debate a lot of things in a respectful tone, but when the argument starts resulting in putdowns or undue agression for one to change one’s beliefs, there becomes a major problem.

Be Honest

When in a relationship - even just friendship - it is very important to be honest. First off, to deceive someone is completely immoral, no matter what the reason. If she asks you if you like her, tell her the truth. This way, you will have less to remember and if she finds out that you lied to her, there will be hell to pay later on. Honesty is always the best policy.

In Conclusion

With these simple things in mind, you can save yourself a lot of heartache, a lot of pain and a lot of anguish in the long run. And this is much better for you and for everyone that you meet and everyone that may be affected by your decisions. That’s MY two cents.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, February 7th, 2007 at 2:14 am and is filed under Relationships. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.